The last two years have been quite dramatic for me, but I didn't realize how dramatic until this evening. I have just ended a relationship back on February 10 when I found out my boyfriend was having an affair... I said to him "Don't contact me and don't come home" and I moved out within 7 days. Today is June 14, 2011...I remember the hour I found out and the pain I experienced. The emotional pain was so bad I had physical pain... I have NEVER experienced that in my life.
I loved this man more that I knew I did. Things were not perfect by any means but we were connected emotionally and I felt I loved him. I still love this man but I can't be with him. He is not good for me. I cannot turn off these feelings and I will probably ALWAYS have a love that is as deep as it is but I have to learn to recover from it. Apparently it is like a drug.
The pain I was feeling was more of a grief that the relationship was really over. Tonight I had words with the women that had the affair with my BF. She seems to think that she is just a poor innocent bystander. SHE ISNT.. she made a conscious choice to help destroy a relationship. I am not saying that my BF was not at fault but she has some culpability also, and the fact that she knew me, in my opinion, makes it worse.
